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"Sailing Geek" sightings on rise - Weather blamed

Pell City, AL - Water safety officials announced today that sightings of the now-familiar "sailing geek" have jumped to alarming levels during March and April of 1999. While the winter months brought a welcomed decrease in such sightings, the first few weeks of the 1999 boating season already rival September and October 1998 reported cases.

"We can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure these new sightings can be blamed on the good sailing weather we've experienced in the area lately", says Water Safety Director, Marlon Spike. "We're also concerned that the sailing geek is showing up in new areas of Lake Logan Martin".

In fact, combined sailing geek sightings cover about fifty percent of the area of Logan Martin Lake below I-20. With good weather, experts warn, the geek turned sailor will probably cover all of Logan Martin south of the Riverside/Lincoln area by the end of the summer. "The shallower depths in Logan Martin above Riverside will probably keep any keeled vessel out", Spike said. "But of course, this isn't the brightest skipper we've ever observed.", he cautioned.

As if matters were not frightening enough, at press time, this reporter heard from a normally reliable source that the sailing geek may be moving to larger sailing craft. This is unconfirmed but a larger vessel could, of course, be more menacing than the relatively benign 12-foot daysailer that the sailing geek currently wields. My source was quick to point out that it could be worse: "He could have bought a power boat!"

sailing geek threatens entire lake

"sailing geek sightings cover about fifty percent of the area of Logan Martin Lake below I-20"